Things have been strange lately. Sad, surprising, frustrating, happy. I've seen great strength break through some of my closest friends lately. It makes me quite proud (I guess the protective motherly thing comes with a territory). I miss my friends. Everyone has been quite busy, including myself. But, I've been a bit of a shut-in lately... and I haven't meant to be. I have been self-absorbed and selfish with my time and focus, and I apologize to whom I have affected with this selfishness. I haven't returned everyone's calls, I haven't hung out... I just haven't felt entirely myself. Things are changing rapidly, and I'm not entirely sure I'm quite up to the times with all that is changing. I'm very confused about where my life is going. Aren't we all? I feel alone, though I shouldn't. Things are adequate in my life, yet I feel cheated. The one thing I really wanted out of life, I haven't gotten. I've tried to shift focus and continue with my other goals, but I'm so scared that I won't succeed. I have to, there's no room for failure. I'm scared as hell. Anyway, Sorry I went off on a tangent. I just really am confused about things. I love you guys